


Rejected

by ShayMcSudonim



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-22
Updated: 2011-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-13 21:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7986520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShayMcSudonim/pseuds/ShayMcSudonim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the video game 'Globs of Doom.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rejected

In a dark and foreboding room, two people sat across a desk from one another: one was a short and suave man, who wore a business suit; the other was small, green, and not very human.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Zim," said the man, "but we cannot accept your application."

The red-eyed alien before him was outraged. "What? You dare refuse the great Zim?"

Mr. Reswel sighed. "Why do you want to join the Villains' Alliance, anyway? You're not one of us. Why not try the League of Heroes?"

"Zim is not a hero, filthy filth-monger! Zim is evil!" cried the Irken.

"Your file says otherwise," said the man, opening a manilla folder.

"What? Lies!" said Zim.

"No, it's all right here," said the man. "You're hardworking, dedicated, loyal, courageous, and you've saved the earth on numerous occasions."

"Zim has almost destroyed the earth more times than Zim can count!" said Zim.

"Close only counts with horse-shoes and hand-grenades, I'm afraid," said the man, putting the file down on his desk, but leaving it open. "How about this? Come back when you've killed someone."

"Zim has killed!" exclaimed the Irken. "He killed the squid-man!"

"I'm afraid not," said Mr. Reswel. "You killed a squid in a human body, by letting him enter shark-infested waters. The 'human' was technically the squid who possessed a human brain. The same squid who escaped your lab, using a cell-phone he swiped from your base to call for help."

The man picked up one of the pieces of paper from the folder and consulted it.

"His book about his experience was a European best-seller," said the man, "and he's sold the movie-rights to a small, independent film company."

Zim was perplexed. "How would a squid work a cell phone?" he asked.

Reswel looked at the papers, and raised an eyebrow. "The file doesn't say," he said, "but, I assure you, he did."

"Stupid human!" seethed the Invader. "Zim doesn't need your dumb dookie-club. Zim is an Irken! I mean... a normal human child-thing!"

With that, Zim swept out of the room.

As he left the building, he saw that, across the street, Dib-head was sitting morosely in front of the League of Heroes headquarters.

"Hey, Zim," said the human, not paying attention to his surroundings.

Zim, much in the same state, sat down next to Dib and rested his green forehead against gloved hands, trying to block out the world.

"Do you know what I've sacrificed to keep the earth safe?" Dib asked the sky. "I spared those kids the moose, for crying out loud! But, no... I shaft _one_ kid while trying to get onto my dad's show—to save the _world_ , I might mention—and 'bam!', I'm suddenly not moral enough to be a hero."

Zim sighed.

Dib sighed.

Then, they realized what they were doing.

Dib was glaring at him with narrowed eyes. "Zim! You almost had me there, but now it is _I_ who have the upper hand!" He held up Zim's pak.

"No!" shouted Zim, lunging for Dib, who just managed to dodge out of the way.

And so, the two of them ran off in conflict, neither one of them quite hero or villain, but adversaries nonetheless.


End file.
